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Christmas as a Muslim Mom

Christmas just passed, then Valentine’s Day and now Easter is just around the corner. Living in a predominantly non-muslim country, there is no denying the fact that we will be surrounded by holidays that we don’t celebrate or believe in throughout the year.

My parents’ attitude towards it was to avoid it. It was almost taboo. We didn’t participate in any community activities involving holidays we don’t celebrate. And that worked then because I was a first generation immigrant. Being a first generation immigrant, meaning the American in me came second to being a Pakistani. Those holidays and that culture didn’t resonate with me since most of my peers growing up didn’t celebrate them either.

But my daughter is primarily an American.

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I Didn’t Pray for 10 Years Part 2

It’s February, and for a lot of us that means the motivation to keep up with our New Year’s resolution is starting to dwindle. Unfortunately, building a habit isn’t as simple as “just doing it” but it’s not impossible either.

With Ramadan around the corner, one of my goals is to consistently pray on time so that I can start to feel the spiritual benefits of praying.

(Allhumdolilah, I received some amazing messages after I shared my experience about building a prayer habit in part 1 of this post.)

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Happy World Hijab Day From a Non Hijabi

Happy World Hijab Day! But I don’t wear hijab. Most people that meet me assume it’s because I don’t want to, when the contrary is actually true. I really want to get to the point where I can wear the hijab. Today, I want to reflect on why I don’t wear hijab.

There are a few things that hold me back that may or may not be valid, but these are my own personal vices. Throughout my life I was told by multiple people, at multiple points in my life to just put it on. It’s not that hard they would say. It doesn’t mean much. At the end of the day it is just a piece of cloth, they would say.

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I Didn’t Pray For 10 years…

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Growing up in my parent’s house, I prayed regularly. But it was mostly because my mom told me to. It was easier just to do it than argue about it. However, when I lived alone in undergrad, I just stopped.

I had no real explanation for why I stopped. I just wasn’t motivated to pray. I didn’t feel that “spiritual renewal” people talked about during prayer. I didn’t feel an urge to pray. What I did feel was guilt. I felt guilty because I knew the importance of prayer, but I simply didn’t understand that importance.

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Happiness at 30

It’s my 30th birthday, and for the first time in 5 years I didn’t cry on my birthday.

I’ve always been very driven and an over achiever. So its no surprise I had BIG plans for my late 20’s. I was never a girl who dreamed of having a family. But as my 20’s unfolded I started dreaming of them. The only problem was I was having a really hard time letting go of my “plan”.

Every year my birthday came. And I’d mourn what I could have been and what I wasn’t, when what I should have been doing was marveling at who I had become.

At 30, I am so incredibly proud of who I am, NOT because of my accomplishments, but because I am HAPPY. Being happy whether you have the world in your hands or just sand is the most difficult thing to be. And I finally am. And here’s how…

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